Faux amis: the simple solution

From today's fantastic editorial in The Telegram:

Friend or faux?

Well, when it comes to open-line radio, politicians have imaginary friends, too.

Even open-line hosts will admit that few of their callers are everyday people anymore. The shows have become political soapboxes, free political broadcast time for both cabinet members and the opposition.

[...]

Let's hope some of the hosts see the value of unmasking those callers who are little more than models with scripted messages. Otherwise, the value of having a public radio forum will be severely diminished.

This morning, "Minnie", whose enthusiasm for Glorious Leader knows no bounds, confessed to Randy Simms that "people" "get her" to call in. When Randy started to ask her some tough questions, she dutifully attacked him.

It Is The Duty Of The Citizen Not To Question Glorious Leader.

Questions Are Unpatriotic.

The very firstcaller to Comrade Rowe, another of Danny's usual plants, picked right up where "Minnie" left off, praised Glorious Leader's wretched plywood "brand" signs erected in St. John's and Goose Bay, and resumed the attack on Randy Simms. The caller also kept to a series of points, expressed in terms that seemed a tad too polished, and managed to cite chapter, number, and verse from years-old articles that appeared in The Telegram and Western Star.

It may be too much to expect from a certain one of the Ministry of Truth's hosts... but as for the other two, there's an astonishingly easy solution to the "Minnies", "Carols" and "Lizzes" that the Bunker in the Sky at Confederation Building orchestrate from Sunday night to Friday afternoon:

Don't put them on the air.

Keep them on hold until they hang up if you have to.

But they play by your rules, or should.

Not by Glorious Leader's.