Drivel

John Crosbie, ask Ed Roberts how you get that taste out of your mouth.

An email wag described today's Throne Speech as — well, this is a family blog, so that metaphor won't appear here. Instead, here, as another in a very irregular series, is Throne Speech 2009: Interlined.

By contrast, the fiscal situation now is entirely sustainable:

We as a province were called upon to face great challenges boldly and brilliantly in 2003 when an unsustainable fiscal situation held us in its ever-tightening grip.

Redundancy and Repetitiveness NL and Labrador, D. Williams, Minister:

We ought to hold Bob Bartlett up before our children as a reflection of their own innermost potential to face great challenges boldly and brilliantly… Mr. Speaker and Members of the House of Assembly: We as a province were called upon to face great challenges boldly and brilliantly in 2003 when an unsustainable fiscal situation held us in its ever-tightening grip.

My Government will allow nothing to prevent us from charting a clear course to the high latitudes of self-reliance… His achievements amaze us and his attitude inspires us to fix our sights boldly and courageously on the high latitudes of self-reliance to which we aspire.

From Seinfeld…

This unprecedented achievement is the culmination of everything My Government and our people have been doing since 2003 to master our own destiny.

... to Star Trek:

face great challenges boldly and brilliantly… as a province were called upon to face great challenges boldly and brilliantly.. us to fix our sights boldly and courageously

And the connection between Our Dear Equity Stake, and “have” status, is…?

My Government’s leadership has for the first time taken important equity stakes in new offshore projects. Last fall, we received news that proved the course My Government has taken is the right one. For the first time since Confederation, Newfoundland and Labrador has achieved "have" status

Dave Denine is already preparing Our application to join the UN:

To lower tariff barriers to our exports while safeguarding our fish stocks and securing markets for our seal products, we will speak up on our own behalf on the international stage and work to effect progressive agreements that take our best interests fully into account.

Passive voice alert...

In Grand Falls-Windsor and the central region, the historic pulp and paper mill and its associated operations have been shut down

...and since when is “prosper” a transitive verb?

after over a century of operation that has prospered the operators greatly.

Yes, our approach of driving paper mills out of business is indeed working:

our track record in Stephenville demonstrates that our approach works.

Except when we retreat to Ottawa to “advance proposals” for some more of the money to be self-reliant with:

My Government is leading the charge and reassuring Newfoundlanders and Labradorians by its actions that we will not retreat from our forward march to self-reliance.

Especially after she stopped tapping her pencil:

My Government greatly appreciates the efforts of Judge Margaret Cameron and her team to get to the bottom of the failures of hormone receptor testing for patients with breast cancer.

In order to continue something, it helps to be doing that something in the first place:

My Government looks forward to the recruitment of a new President for Memorial University, and My Government will continue to respect the autonomy of Memorial University.

From whom, the Ministry of Northern Gateways?

As the only Atlantic province with a northern region, Newfoundland and Labrador is ideally positioned to be Canada’s Northern Gateway, and we are working to earn this designation.

No, we’ll sell them out by racking up a few more billions in debt then hightailing it down south:

This province will not sell out its children by selling short their future.

Who knows, maybe some day the Energy Plan will do the same for Labrador. Who put all Our hydro on their rivers, anyway?

The new Energy Plan also demonstrates My Government’s commitment to ensuring women and underrepresented groups more fully participate in the energy sector and have full access to employment opportunities.

O beautiful for purple prose, and dropping names in vain:

His achievements amaze us and his attitude inspires us to fix our sights boldly and courageously on the high latitudes of self-reliance to which we aspire. No matter how audacious the goal or how great the obstacles, we have all we need to accomplish what we set out to achieve. Like Captain Bob, and in the words of America’s new President, with hope and virtue, let us endure what storms may come.