"We can't allow things that are inaccurate to stand." — The Word of Our Dan, February 19, 2008.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Sycophant of the Month: February 2009

Total number of ProvGov press releases issued in February: 146 (+26 from January)

Total number with the phrase "Williams Government": 5 (+2 from January.)

Sycophancy index: 3.4% (+0.9% from January)

February has come and gone, and with it, hopes of any real break in the drought of Danny Williams-Governmentiness that has prevailed since late summer 2008.

It was nearly mind-month before Paul Oram opened up the scoring, with an assist by Trevor Taylor – the first assist by any member of The Team since September 30th. Tom Marshall answered it on the 16th, and the Captain himself put one in two days later; both with assists, from Patty Pottle, Jerome Kennedy, and Trevor again.

Diane Whalen tipped one in the next day, and who else but the once-unstoppable Joan Burke – goodness, is she responsible for this infernal Conway Twitty/Loretta Lynn earworm? – rounded out the month with one on the last business day of the year. Both of these were unassisted, showing the guys how you play the game.

So, five single goals, none of which were assisted by any of the goal-scorers.

The judges upstairs, however, are adamant that there will not be a five-way tie this month, so, adopting the Rule of Firsts that governs the annual prize, this month’s award goes to the player who scored first.

That means that by defeating, if only on a technicality, former monthly inductees Tom Marshall, Danny Williams, Dianne Whalen, and the Great One, Joan Burke, you, Paul Oram, are the February Sycophant of the Month. Congratulations, Paul!

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