Averill's new math

Avid pianist — and that's decidedly not in the Frank sense of the term — Averill Baker's latest column is about garbage.

In it, she floats this interesting mathematical proposition:

Have you ever heard of such a stupid, asinine idea for this province? You wouldn’t know but we were Now York City or Toronto with a garbage dump problem.

The stupidity of such a policy is mind-boggling. The brains-to-body mass ratio of our politicians must be getting smaller.

[Emphasis added.]

Interesting thought, that, Averill. There are three ways, mathematically speaking, in which this change in ratio could be happening.

First, the politicians' brains could be getting smaller.

Or, the politicians' bodies could be getting larger. (That will happen to pigs who make one too many passes at the trough.)

Or both things could be happening simultaneously.

In this new age we live in, where, if you can't say nothing nice — shhh! say nothing, or your glutes will get sued off of you — this is dangerous ground for Averill to be treading.

Suggesting that politicians are getting stupider! or fatter! or both! The nerve! The disparagement! The down-taking of reputations!

Averill, like all those who comment on those dedicated people who have chosen public life, must be careful these days, even when you are merely making factual statements or asking impertinent questions.

Who knows, someone, a lawyer even, could try to scare you into silence with a frivolous, vexatious, and merit-lacking threat to sue you for defamation.

Right?