"We can't allow things that are inaccurate to stand." — The Word of Our Dan, February 19, 2008.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Sycophant of the Month: March 2009

Total number of ProvGov press releases issued in March: 171 (+25 from February)

Total number with the phrase "Williams Government": 16 (+11 from February.)

Sycophancy index: 9.4% (+6.0% from February)

The output of the ITAR-DAN agency overall was up 117% in March vs. February, with half of the 25 additional press releases for the month attributable to the budget, and much of the rest by the fact that March is 10% longer than February anyway.

The usual (since 2005) battering of Williams-Government budgetosity also generated a massive spike in the weekly sycophancy index during the last full week of the month. It was off significantly from the sycophancy indices topping out at 30% or more in each of the previous three budget years, but, at over 20%, was still higher than the 19.3% score in Budget Week 2005, and was only the fourth time that the weekly score has topped 20% at all.

March came in like a lamb, with no scoring until the aching heads dragged themselves into work the day after St. Paddy’s, when Joan Burke put one in the net. John Hickey answered her five days later.

The real action was in Budget Period, with 12 doses of WilliamsGovernmenty awesomeness. Leading off? Danny Williams-Government himself. He was followed by the stimulating Shawn Skinner, then not one, not two, not three, but FOUR by Ross Wiseman, an uninterrupted Super-Hat-Trick. It’s been more than a year since the last such feat, accomplished then by Dianne Whalen.

This just in: further to the Special Sycophancy Statement issued by the labradore Sycophancy Observatory earlier this month, we can now report that every single one of the Budget Brown-nose Bonanza contained Our Dear Stock Phrase “Williams Government” in the first paragraph, and nearly half of them dropped the phrase two or more times over the course of the release.

What’s more, fully half of them led with the immortal words, “The Williams Government…”, just in case any differently-optimistic, insufficiently strong, and inadequately Premier-positive journalists missed the really subtle point.

Curiously, the releases which led with “The Williams Government…” alternated almost perfectly with those that led with three other words. “The Williams Government…”, “The Williams Government…” not. Funny that.

Rounding out Budget Barrage 2009 were Joan Burke’s second of the month, Charlene Johnson, Jerome Kennedy, Danny Williams-Government (again), Shawn Skinner with his second, and Tom Marshall.

In the closing moments of the game, Patty Pottle put one in, making good her omission during Budget Budget Budget 2009, and Trevor Taylor closed out the month. Between the two late-game goals, and the budget blastitude, March certainly went out like a lion.

So, with four goals carved in his press-release stick, a quarter of the monthly haul, your Sycophant of the Month, too tired from his stellar performance to show up at the same functions as reporters, is the Minister of Something, Mr. Ross Wiseman.


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