"We can't allow things that are inaccurate to stand." — The Word of Our Dan, February 19, 2008.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Sycophant of the Month: March 2010

Total number of ProvGov press releases issued in March: 189 (+67 from February).

Total number with the phrase "Williams Government" (or "Williams Administration"): 28 (+17 from February).

Sycophancy index: 14.8% (+5.8% from February).

From a Williams-Government perspective, March came in like a lamb, but went out like a lion. In the entire first week, only Jerome! Kennedy and Tom Hedderson got anywhere near the goal.

Things picked up a little in the second week, with Hedderson scoring twice for the lead, Kennedy keeping things interesting with one, and Denine, Skinner, and Sullivan each placing singles.

The third week, with the Great One back from spring training in Florida, was heated between our front-runners. Hedderson landed his fourth, but Jerome! got as aggressive with him as he did with those free-loading doctors, tying things up before Hedderson came back with another to reclaim the lead and close the week.

Jerome! roared back to tie it at the start of week four, then Clyde Jackman knocked in his career first; a proud achievement that was, sadly for him, just a punctuation mark in the back-and-forth, as Hedderson finished another low-scoring week by re-taking the lead.

Then – Budgetosity 2010.

The Eponymous One Himself tipped in his first since November to kick things off. Hedderson then cemented a lead, followed by Dr. Darin King, and Skinner! with his second. But Jerome! still had fight in him.

Joan Burke’s name went up on the big board, her first in over a year, followed by another from King, and then Dunderdale’s only one of the month; remarkable also for being the first scored under the “Williams Administration” rule since December 2008.

Marshall, surprisingly, also only got one for the month, but what a one: dropping Our Dear Name not once, not twice, not thrice, not fourice, but fivice times, a new record.

He was followed by a tired but feisty Kennedy, leaving everything he had out there, to tie it back up with Hedderson.

Sullivan showed the stuff she is made of by landing two more, and along with John Hickey closed out Budgetosity 2010, and the month: with a total score of 28, the WilliamsGovernmentiest month ever!

Budgetosity Week 2010 was the third-WilliamsGovernmentiest month on record, and as noted, Marshall scored the WilliamsGovernmentiest point in human history.

Finally, as a side note for real stats junkies, Tom Hedderson scored the highest flunky:minister ratio on record, wherein it took seven such flunkies – worth their weight in gold, naturally – to draft “quotes” and field questions on behalf of just one Minister.

And if all that isn’t exciting enough: it’s a tie! Jerome! and Hedderson have seven each, January champ Sullivan three, King and Skinner two, and Jackman, Himself, Denine, Burke, Hickey, Dunderale and Marshall singles.

So it’s on to the tie-breaker, which doesn’t actually break the tie: both Jerome! and Hedderson assisted Hickey on his only point of the month, but that was their only assists of the month.

(And it gets better still! The last time we had a monthly tie, in January 2009, guess who was atop the podium then?)

What a game! What a month!

Your March Sycophants of the Month: Jerome! Kennedy and Tom Hedderson! Congratulations!

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