"We can't allow things that are inaccurate to stand." — The Word of Our Dan, February 19, 2008.

Friday, January 09, 2009

A first time for everything

"For the first time..."

Joan Burke claimed it — falsely.

It's actually part of a broader pattern, in which the government (and it's well-known biggest fans) keep claiming "firsts".

Just as in the first term of Danny Williams-Government, everything was about "due diligence" and "drilling down", and the second term has so far given the lexicon the instantly-hackneyed "on a go-forward basis", "For the first time..." is a new stockphrase that must be used wherever, whenever, as often as possible.

"For the first time" was used in its new, official, sense, for, um, the first time, late in 2006, but it's only really gained momentum in the past year and a half or so. It comes in radio talk-show scripts for Ministers and plants, and in press releases, typically in contexts such as:

"For the first time, we are taking control of our resources."

"For the first time, we have a government with no more giveaways."

"For the first time since 1949 we are off equalization and a have province."

"For the first time there's a course that teaches something about the province in schools."

"For the first time, we have a Premier who is standing up for the Province."

"For the first time, I am proud to be a Newfoundlander. And Labradorian."

Hundreds of years of history not merely re-written, but wiped clean. Nothing ever happened before. It's all happening now, for the first time.

It's even He who doles out pride. None of the DW-G enthusiasts can ever remember being proud before He came along. They are now, for the first time in their lives, proud.

For the first time, for the first time, for the first time.

For the first time, for the first time, for the first time for a long time.

Never mind, that for the first time, the number of paper mills in the province is declining.

For the first time in the history of the province, for the first time in the province's history, for the first time.

For the first time anyone can recall, a sitting Premier is called as a witness to a public inquiry.

For the first time, for the first time, fibre optic cables will be built along the south coast of the island, because, presumably, Smallwood or Squires or Bennett didn't have the foresight to invent fibre optic cables.

For the first time this, for the first time that.

For the first time in generations a community will no longer have any kids in school.

For the first time, for the first time in a generation (even if that claim, too, is false, unless fifteen years still counts as a generation).

There's a first time for everything.

There'll be other firsts, too.

Just not the kinds of firsts that get trumpeted in bumpfy press releases.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home