"We can't allow things that are inaccurate to stand." — The Word of Our Dan, February 19, 2008.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sycophant of the Year, 2008

The big story in the field of Sycophancy in 2007 was the rise of Joan Burke. From September 2007 to April 2008, inclusive, she took home the Sycophant of the Month prize every month. She was unstoppable.

And then, in 2008, she got stopped. Dianne Whalen knocked her flat in May 2008, but couldn’t keep her title. It slipped to Tom Marshall in June, but again he couldn’t defend it to the tag-team of Whalen and Denine in July. Denine briefly took the sole crown for August, but then, in the comeback story of the year, Burke took back her rightful prize in September, and held it for second month running.

She fell back in November, when Whalen again shared the podium, this time with upstart Jerome Kennedy, the same Kennedy who finished the year alone atop the monthly standings.

There were, in all, 108 Williams Government (or Williams Administration) releases in 2008, a slump of nearly twenty compared to 2007. Surely not a harbinger of things to come.

And, for the second year running, it’s a tie in the playoff round. Diane Whalen owned the podium in May, and shared it twice in the rest of the year. And Joan Burke, between starting the year off strong, and having a fall flourish, also finished high in the standings.

Each of these fine cabinet minister scored 27 in the annual standings – between them they had exactly fifty per cent of the goals scored all year, far outstripping their nearest competitors, Dave Denine and Danny Williams-Government himself.

Tom Marshall, Jerome Kennedy, and Ross (what crisis?) Wiseman were the only others with more than five on the board. (One lonely point went unattributed.)

So with a tie at 27 apiece, that means it’s off to a tie-breaker. And again this year, it comes down to a question of who scored first. And once again, that honour goes to Joan Burke, who landed the first of 2008 on January 8th.

What an exciting year it’s been. Ladies and germs, the defending annual champion, your Sycophant of the Year, Minister Joan Burke!

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